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Help - General Discussion - Stop and Step



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Hi all.  First post here as just joined. Not sure if it’s the right place for me but here goes.   

Always liked a bet. Started  up with just football bets and progressed to the roulette machines. Was always a bit of fun but quickly became more and more expensive. About 10 years ago I realised that things were getting out of control. 

I  started going to GA meetings and arrested my disease for over five years. Without going into my life story my wife was diagnosed with terminal cancer at 32 years of age .  This was 2012 and she passed away in January 2016. I resisted the temptation for quite awhile but over the last year or so I’ve gone back into it big time. In the last year I’ve got myself in over 50k worth of debt with loans left right and centre . All gone on gambling I know I’m in so deep now but I still can’t stop. I earn good money but in the last week alone I’ve ploughed through over £2000 mainly on ultra spins on drops of gold I know I need to get back to the GA meetings but my first step is putting it down in writing and posting it. Thanks for listening

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Firstly sorry for your loss.. That would be enough to trip most people over the edge... On the plus side you have beaten this before and you will beat it again you just have to make that first small step... Pick up the phone today  

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Firstly, I too would like to offer my condolences for your tragic loss. Your story is the polar opposite of Fergs recent post. Your wife's passing has contributed to pushing you over the edge whilst his problem could ultimately wreck his marriage. What I will say though is that the fact you make good money doesn't justify the huge losses you've had. That money still has to be paid back. You could end up losing on your own what you and your wife had built up over the years and that's not fair on her. You know exactly what you should do or you wouldn't be posting here but I know all to well its not that simple. So my advice might surprise you. If you can't stop then all I would say is when you do have a win "because nobody loses all the  time" cash out immediately. That way the money is in limbo for two or three days and you can't lose it back. Good luck in all ways. 

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So sorry for your loss at such a young age it’s horrible to contemplate.

However you know the answer, get back to GA, the members will welcome you back with open arms and give you somewhere to discuss all your issues.

The money is gone and you should first remember to “accept the things you cannot change” from that start moving forward and sort yourself out.

You have a reasonable income by the sounds of it so in time you should be able to sort the debt out but it may help to take advice on it to see the best way forward initially. Maybe call the CAB or try Step Change?

Im assuming you’re probably still under 40 and you don’t mention children but honestly you have a lot of life to live and I doubt your wife would want you miserable for that life?

Perhaps you have parents who will listen and help you manage your finances in the early days to make sure your essential bills are paid and only give you what you need day to day? If not parents perhaps a trusted friend or other relation?

I feel for you, I really do but you have to take the first step back and you already know what that is, Get to GA, accept you are powerless and move forward.

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I’m also sorry about your loss sir

now I’ve never told anyone about this apart from my family even the kids don’t know 

back in 2008 I had a bit of a gambling problem trying to win money for my then pregnant wife then my world came tumbling down 😢😢😢😢😢

I was sent to Nottingham city hospital for a scan which turned out to be a grade 2 testicular cancer I  had to have one removed followed by 3 courses of BEP chemotherapy in the middle of this the stress got to my wife and she had a miscarriage at 12 weeks 😢😢

so when I finished my 5 years of remission  and was told it won’t come back it made me value life in a different way 

so what’s the point of me saying all this you must think ?

well what @Intoodeep as been through must be hell and I want him to look at life differently 





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