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Inappropriate jollities - Off Topic - Stop and Step

Inappropriate jollities


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Thought I’d relate a story to you as it’s been something I’ve been ribbed for by my brother for the last decade or so...

It was a Tuesday night and at the time I played in a Tuesday night pool league. We were playing an away match which was on my commute home, just off Benfleet station. Because of the start time (I was captain so had to have my card with the order we were playing in done by 19:20), I’d taken my pool cue to work and went straight there. No time to get home and back again.

So, my brother was part the team as well so we walked into the social club at about 18:30 and went to the bar. I had a look around and everyone was very smartly dressed. I ordered 2 pints of Carling and thought I’d ask the barmaid why.

’Everyone’s really smart here today, what’s going on?’

’Oh, it’s a wake. One of our long term members died and they’ve all come back from the funeral.’

’Ohhh... I’m sorry to hear that.’

So, feeling a little sheepish and awkward as it felt that that I’d kind of invaded a very personal event, I wanted to get out the way a bit. Obviously a very emotional time for everyone there although everyone had had a drink or two so they were also relaxed. I spied in the corner a quiz machine and thought this would be a nice and unobtrusive space to hide in. And I stuck a quid in. This’ll pass some time.


I don’t know if anyone remembers the quiz machine game Bullseye? Quite fun and you’d get a fair bit of bang for your 50p game. But there was a problem. I have no idea what was wrong with this machine but someone, somehow had cranked the volume to max. The speakers couldn’t handle it and it sounded very distorted. 

To summarise, my brother now refers to me as the guy who thought the best thing to do at a wake was to play the Bullseye theme tune at war bleedingly loud levels for everyone to enjoy.

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Did you ever play tetris or space invaders.

I test played both inhouse i played them non stop for 6 weeks before they were sited.

We sold a lot of them into pubs,i was that good on them i made more money than my salary

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