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Feeling a bit fruity with the misses this morning 

She puts on all the sexy lingerie and says before we start can you be like Liverpool on top for along time and cum second

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Cruel... but funny

If we are in joke mood

4 Nuns (Mary, Clarence, Enid and Steph) were involved in a horrific car crash that killed them all

Next thing they knew they were all standing in front of the pearly gates with St Peter greeting them with a friendly smile.

As they drew closer Peter said “Before I can let you pass into heaven you each need to answer a question.

He turned toward sister Enid and asked have you ever had any experience of the male penis?

Sister Enid blushed and put her head down and told St Peter that when she was younger she accidently caught a glimpse of her brother when he was in the shower.

Don’t worry said Peter Bath your eyes in the font in front of the gates and then pass into heaven.

He turned to sister Steph and asked the same question about her experience with the male penis.

She went bright red and started to mumble away about how before she took holy orders she was a bit wayward and once gave an old boyfriend a hand job.

Don’t worry said St Peter wash your hands in the font in front of the gates and then pass into heaven.

At that moment sister Clarence and sister Mary ran towards the font and started fighting in front of it. St Peter was not amused and shouted at the two women to stop… Once calm had been established he asked sister Clarence what it was all about.

Oh St peter she said I am so sorry but I just wanted to rinse my mouth out at the font before sister Mary washed her arse.

 

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2 NUNS ON A MALE NUDIST BEACH

ONE HAD A STROKE

THE OTHER COULDN’T REACH 

ill let myself out 😢

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The steward spots the racehorse trainer give his horse some pills just before the race, he questions the trainer about it and the trainer says that they were just a few tic tac mints. Here he says, I'll take one just to prove it, and have one yourself. The steward accepts the trainers explanation and walks off. 

The trainer then turns to the jockey and says, just keep your head down and go like the clappers, and don't worry if anything passes you in the final furlong, it'll only be me or the steward. 

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